This isn’t a love letter.

This isn’t even everything I want to say to you because, honestly, I’m afraid. I’ve never felt this vulnerable before, and I know I wouldn’t survive another heartbreak. I’m just trying to protect the hopelessly romantic kid inside of me. But I can’t help it.

I love how thinking about you makes me blush, how my heart aches and feels heavy when I don’t hear from you, and how my brain stops functioning when I need to reply to your texts.

Now I can’t think of there, without thinking of you
I doubt that comes as a surprise
And I can’t think of anything to dream about
I can’t find anywhere to hide

After all these years, I wonder why the universe is acting like this—maybe it’s just setting me up for a fall? But even so, I can’t help it. Your worries, your mistakes, your daily shenanigans, your anger, your eyes, your thoughts, your dreams, your heartbreaks, your photographs—everything about you makes me want to wrap my arms around your beautiful soul and protect it.

I never believed in soulmates before, but I feel connected to your soul in a way I can’t fully explain. It’s funny how the universe placed you on my path years ago and then decided to reconnect us after so long.

I keep listening to the songs you shared with me, hoping that maybe you’re speaking to me through those songs. I can’t explain why, but for the first time, my heart and brain seem to be working together, leaving me blissfully delusional.

I used to think I was good at writing poetry, but when it comes to you, I can’t even start. I’ve only ever written about sadness and depression, and love has always been caged inside of me. I’ve forgotten how to let it out or how to explain this feeling with words.

So please forgive me if this falls short. Even if you disagree with everything I have ever said, including now, know that I can’t and won’t be able to stop thinking about you or my desire to ease your worries and help turn your dreams into reality.

Every second away from you is a struggle, and I can’t wait for the day when we get to share our dreams.

Thank you for being in my life. I feel you more deeply than I can express.

Was this a love letter?